Although checking your phone or sending a quick text might seem like a mindless activity that barely detracts from your conversation, you may be sending nonverbal messages to your potential partner: My time with you is not valuable, special, or interesting enough for me to put “me time” on hold.
These problems aren’t just for the newly dating, however: Most established couples have not had explicit conversations to establish relational rules about technology use.
Young adults, ages 25-34 average more than 2000 a month!
Today, you can ask someone out, break up, break up again, argue for three hours, all via text messages. We used to have a Walkman, a video camera, a regular camera, a huge flashlight and a computer, but now, they’re all in one small cell phone. With that being said, cell phones can and are stunting many people’s social skills, conversational skills, and especially their dating lives.
Indeed, a common complaint on first dates is that the other person used his or her phone throughout the evening.
Most people interpret it as a sign that a date is not interested, or is just rude, because they are spending their shared time mentally, if not physically, elsewhere.
Remember the days when we used to actually call people on the phone to talk? People 14-24 years of age send an average of more than 3,500 texts a month (over 120 a day).
He then goes on Facebook to check out his friend’s recently uploaded pictures.
Meanwhile, Jenna sits alone, increasingly irritated that Rob is spending their night out talking to someone else.
Establishing Relational Rules The most effective way to combat techno-incompatibility is to discuss the issue with your partner and establish mutual rules for using technology.
People tell me that they are not good at talking on the phone or face to face and so resort to texting.